i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
