she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
how drunk are you?
Several
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
