I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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