I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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