i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
that may or may not have been my penis.
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