my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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