Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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