I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
