You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
