What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
