you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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