just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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