My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
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I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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