I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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