i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
