Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

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  (714): It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks... http://tfl.nu/l4e9
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

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  (206): She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe. http://tfl.nu/i5qc
  Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (2010)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.

  (1-818): View more from California

  And this was for your brother's Christening?

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  (818): It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons. (1-818): And this was for your brother's Christening? http://tfl.nu/dxaq
  Replies (9) Good night (3720) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

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  (317): Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex. http://tfl.nu/7i2a
  Replies (15) Good night (1228) Bad night (4282)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate

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  (941): sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate http://tfl.nu/n9pe
  Replies (8) Good night (3982) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The air was thick with penises

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  (805): The air was thick with penises http://tfl.nu/1iew
  Replies (4) Good night (1357) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Topless dodge ball cldnt top that

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  (619): Topless dodge ball cldnt top that http://tfl.nu/nbsl
  Replies (6) Good night (937) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.

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  (954): in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine. http://tfl.nu/pi7u
  Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver

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  (760): Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver http://tfl.nu/ovu0
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...

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  (757): Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something? (540): One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend... http://tfl.nu/ltk8
  Replies (0) Good night (853) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

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  (603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night

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  (662): Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night http://tfl.nu/qcv1
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis

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  (602): Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis http://tfl.nu/4x5t
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?

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  (818): Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding? http://tfl.nu/07ft
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for

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  (262): It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for http://tfl.nu/8tbr
  Replies (6) Good night (385) Bad night (293)

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