We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.