I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?