Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight

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  (414): I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight http://tfl.nu/aoch
  Replies (2) Good night (1415) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
  Replies (41) Good night (7824) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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  (401): She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY. http://tfl.nu/e2x6
  Replies (29) Good night (2998) Bad night (7100)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying

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  (917): I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying http://tfl.nu/unbu
  Replies (12) Good night (1045) Bad night (6222)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.

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  (608): I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs. http://tfl.nu/xx6g
  Replies (39) Good night (5348) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex

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  (517): I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex http://tfl.nu/ieaq
  Replies (14) Good night (2505) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.

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  (949): It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his. http://tfl.nu/sru1
  Replies (5) Good night (2410) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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  (917): Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night? http://tfl.nu/29mg
  Replies (11) Good night (3868) Bad night (1436)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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  (979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox
  Replies (14) Good night (2304) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman

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  (505): But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman http://tfl.nu/b7v2
  Replies (6) Good night (2037) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.

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  (541): Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/28i2
  Replies (22) Good night (1205) Bad night (1831)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.

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  (517): Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night. http://tfl.nu/6sjb
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.

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  (520): I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now. http://tfl.nu/zshk
  Replies (8) Good night (902) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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  (+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing

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  (914): Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing http://tfl.nu/dzxw
  Replies (1) Good night (1193) Bad night (333)

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