is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
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I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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