By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
