at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
