They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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