He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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