she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
