If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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