On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
