The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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