Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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