"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize