his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
