she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
