You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
