This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
