i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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