Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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