Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
