I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
