Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
