I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
false alarm, still single
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
