i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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