We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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