You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
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I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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