He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
