Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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