Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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