Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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