bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
