I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
