i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
