No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
