oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need to sanitize my soul.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
