The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
