Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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