I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
