why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
