turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
