I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
