Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
