3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
